Managing Your Thoughts

Growing up, I had nightmares all the time. To this day, I avoid scary movies for this reason. Watching a scary movie equals me kissing a goodnight’s sleep goodbye for at least a week. (Even now, I watched The Blair Witch Project when I was 10, and I’m still upset about it...).  

I remember ranting to my parents that I couldn’t sleep, I dreaded going to sleep, because I would just end up with nightmares.  

Throughout my childhood, my mom had always said to me “be careful of your self-talk". At the time, I only scratched the surface of understanding what she was telling me. During this nightmare rant, her response was along these lines. I remember her being almost exasperated (in fairness, she’d said this to me a lot already), she said “Jenn, you have to control your thoughts.”  

That hit me. I have control? There’s something to be done? She’d always talked about “self-talk” and to avoid “talking yourself into something”, but the word “control” grabbed my attention.  

I can’t say I haven’t had any nightmares since then, but I can say they lessoned and with time, they’ve virtually disappeared.  

From this, I got to take away a lot more than just fewer nightmares. Over time, and with a lot of still ongoing work, I’m getting better at managing my thoughts. Now that I’m older there’s more to deal with too. When those voices that say I can’t, or I’m not ready, start to cloud my vision, they can be managed and pushed back.  

Coaching has taught me even more about this and has made a step change in my growth. It’s a learning process, but it’s the most beneficial skill that I will always be working to improve and a skill that I encourage as I coach others.